RADICAL NEW THEORY

Here's some journalism-flavored writing, complete with punch line:

Vegetarianism 'could help climate' "A scientist claims ditching meaty meals in favour of nut roasts could do more to cut greenhouse gas emissions than burning less oil and gas. The radical new theory argues livestock animals bred to be eaten produce 21% of the carbon dioxide attributed to humans. So by trading the traditional Sunday roast for an environmentally-friendly mung bean casserole, damaging emissions can be slashed. The innovative new theory would mean the mass slaughter of all livestock."

It's radical! It's innovative! It's mass slaughter!

Too bad for the livestock, which, if not for this radical new innovative theory, would be.. mass slaughtered.