BORN 'FREE'

I'll be the first to admit that 'Sabrina's' kidnappers did not look after her as well as her normal keepers, but still, Gaza lion freed after two years is an odd choice of words. "I'm free! I'm free... to go back in this old cage..."

CRY ME A LAGOON

Well, it was either that heading or "crocodile tears," but I know some people get exercised over the difference between crocs and alligators, the real topic of this post: Florida Gator Shows Declining. Ohhh NOOO! Poor Steve Irwin died just in time! ...oops, sorry. Alligators. Right.

Years ago, one animal-wrestler said, these shows drew more than 400 visitors and he could make about $500 a day in tips. But times have changed, and the article notes that "today's tourists would rather ride on Everglades air boats and view wildlife in its natural habitat." Natural habitat!?!?!? WTF?

"The lessons are being taught in their own home, without harming any animals. So that's the positive side," Peacock said. "The negative side is, did I waste the last 17 years of my life learning how to do this?"

Yes. Yes you did. Too bad it only occurs to you now that your way of life was a complete croc.

...sorry again, I mean, man, that really bites.

NEWS TO THOSE TO WHOM IT'S NEWS

"The sickening side of greyhound racing."

You mean there's a non-sickening side?

BITCH, BITCH, BITCH

Haven't read it, but this looks like an interesting tome, pushing the Vegan Freak and Vegan with a Vengeance envelope. Even Michael Greger's Carbophobia! didn't put it quite this starkly: "You are either a total moron if you think the Atkins diet will make you thin [or] you are a gluttonous pig who wants to believe you can eat cheeseburgers all day long and lose weight."

The frequent incoherence of the columnist covering this ("In context of the authors' earlier shock tactics, such suggestions [to go vegan] still surprise." Huh? How come? "If you're going to eat the junk, it may as well go in your trunk." Say whuzzah? "Tofurkey" Mmm-hmm.) is par for the course, but I tip my hat to her for choosing to cover it at all, and cluing me in to this book.