I'LL JUST SWITCH TO FISH - EAST ASIAN EDITION

It's bad enough when people here in the West eat fish, given that it's almost always packed with insoluble toxins. But at least it's not like in Shangai, where a fish monger is now in prison for coating every fish he sold with deadly poison "to make it look shinier and more attractive."
And over in Vietnam, a half-million people are estimated to be plagued by worms from eating raw fish. That's parasite worms, not nightcrawlers. But hey, isn't that ironic? Getting worms from eating fish? No. What's ironic is the concept of fish as a "healthy" food.

BIG MAC ATTACK

Finally fed up after all the beating it's taking on the stock exchange, all the burnings and bombings, all the lawsuits, and the general bad attitude shown toward the company by various constituencies, McDonald's is fighting back! That's right. Three workers at a New Zealand Mickey D's are accused of assaulting customers who were acting up too much. One guy is still in touch-and-go condition: "According to one witness, he was picked up off the ground and dumped on his head." Did somebody say... you talkin' to me? You talkin' to ME?

TOUGHER THAN BEEF CARCASSES

Dunno if you heard - I didn't until Tuesday - but there was another moderate-sized E. Coli recall - 320,000 pounds of beef, or 160 tons of dead animal. You might not have gotten wind of it, see, because ONCE *COUGH* AGAIN, the USDA thoughtfully scheduled this disclosure for a Friday afternoon! But don't worry, the all-new War-Against-E.Coli USDA is getting reeeeeeally tough now. For instance, that Conagra plant that caused the second-biggest recall ever, last summer? The one that had been cited dozens of times before that? The one that was subsequently closed down after 19 new citations for fecal contamination? Well, they better watch their step, because now they can only have FIVE feces-smeared carcasses per hundred before getting a citation, and only a handful of citations before they're (threatened with) shutdown. Yeah! We sure are kicking butt now!

TRYING TO TELL US SOMETHING?

As usual, PETA's getting ink by brewing up a brouhaha over something pointless. But now that they've made John Madden's fondness for Turducken a national issue, let me just add 2 quick thoughts: 1) Remember, you can't spell "Turducken" without "Turd," unless you cheat and use the alternate, more nonsensical spelling, and 2) what is it these guys have about stuffing one piece of meat up inside another? I mean, really.