DYING FOR PRIVACY

Hey, remember that sick joke from last year where the National Zoo refused to give the Washington Post access to records of animals' illnesses and deaths because it would violate the animals' privacy? Well, now we know what those animals were so embarrassed about: the fact that so many of them are dying at the hands of incompetent zookeepers. "The latest in a string of deaths," as the Washington Post puts it, were two red pandas, an endangered species - killed by rat poison intentionally planted in their caged area to keep those pesky critters down. What makes this sick joke even sicker is not just that people set up these massive areas that are doubtlessly a vermin's paradise, nor that their killing methods backfire so hideously and predictably - no, it's that this is in no way a unique story. Zoo animals around the world are constantly dying horrific deaths as a result of incredible mismanagement. Oh well - at least they have their privacy.