A REGULAR IRREGULAR DIET

Vegetarian diet slashes cholesterol levels blares the Orlando Sentinel, on an experiment where subjects lowered cholesterol by a surprising one-third. "Whether most people would stick with such a diet is another matter," cautions this AP story, "because it involves daily okra, eggplant and Metamucil, among other things." Uh-huh. Well, whatever those "other things" might be, you can count me out of this particular vegetarian diet right here and now, Jack.

Ain't no friggin' way you're gettin' me to eat eggplant every day. And that is a fact.