2 CUTE 2 B 4 GOTTEN

The always-illuminating Vegan Porn points us to the erstwhile "Cool2BReal" site - the one that was supposed to trick young girls into thinking beef was cool, and which was laughed off the World Wide Web - but now it's back, as "ZIP4TWEENS!" That's right. You know how much tweens love being called "tweens." That right there is hipness in a bottle.

But it gets better on the Mad Cow Disease FAQ page, a masterpiece of patronizing obfuscation with such selections as:

Is it safe to eat beef?
Yes, it is safe to eat beef. U.S. beef is still the safest in the world. "Mad cow disease" does not affect the meat you eat such as steaks, roasts and ground beef.

and

In what type of beef is BSE found?
It's really important to remember that the beef you eat does not have BSE. Foods such as steaks, roasts and ground beef are safe.

and

Has anyone in the United States gotten sick from mad cow disease?
No American has gotten sick from this fatal disease. About 150 people in the United Kingdom and other countries have gotten sick.

Guess they think "tweens" are too stupid to notice how they don't answer the questions being asked. To the question, In what type of beef is BSE found? they give us an answer that screams "Let's change the subject!" with types of beef where it's not found - although that's a lie too, both in mentioning ground beef, the highest-risk form, and in saying "the beef you eat" is definitely safe - unless, of course, you eat hot dogs. And as to whether anyone has died... well, let's just say there are a hell of a lot of suspicious deaths that "tweens" oughta be informed about... especially if they wanna outlive their "tweens."

UPDATE 3/2: UPI picks up the story, headlining it "Pro-beef site for 'tweens' going too far?" and noting that "tucked in among the colorful links is one that explains why tweens shouldn't worry about mad cow disease, and why beef is good for them. Beef is an ingredient in several of the snack recipes -- but no other meat. The site also advocates eating cheese and drinking milk, another cow product. For the essay contest, one question asked what the entrant's favorite beef dish was." Though the article twice stresses that it's the marketing to kids that's the problem, not the beef thing, the parents who are "spooked" would doubtless have no problem with a site encouraging liberal consumption of green vegetables - and with good reason.