WAITER, THERE'S COW ANUS IN MY FOOD!

Heh. April Fool's! Your trusty USDA wouldn't really go so far as to include cow anuses and rectums in your food, would it? Well, if you believe that, you're the real April fool, because aside from how, well, unappealing the concept is, it's also of dubious safety, and yet the USDA needs to be prodded to omit these materials from human food. Here's where you can go to do so. (Maybe first thing tomorrow, so they know you're serious.)