THIS JUST IN: ZOOS ARE DANGEROUS

...to people and non-humans as well, apparently: "The Houston Zoo staff members tried feverishly to save Kimba's life, but the 13-year-old female Asian elephant died Monday afternoon after a sudden illness." Shortly thereafter, at a Chicago Zoo, a zoo keeper was attacked by lions and remains in serious condition with multiple bite wounds and lacerations. But zoos are safe as ever, right? "Zoo officials say the public was never in danger, but one visitor said she saw one of the 250-pound female lions on the public side of the moat. 'I was quite nervous,' said Delores Thompson of Elmwood Park. 'When I saw the lion there, I started to run.'" But "Zoo officials adamantly denied Thompson’s claim, saying it was impossible for a lion to make the 20-foot leap." Oh, OK. And yet... "The zoo was evacuated for 15 minutes. 'One of the zookeepers came up running and yelled to us, "You have to leave quickly" and pointed to the exit,' said Kathy Neisser of Chicago, who was at the zoo with her two 6-year-old boys." Hmmmmmmmm... wonder what the big hurry was.