I KNEW IT!!!

That pinnacle of off-the-beaten-track investigative journalism, The Onion, blows the lid off an issue many of us may have already suspected: World's Scientists Admit They Just Don't Like Mice. "Nearly 700 scientists representing 27 countries convened at the University of Zurich Monday to formally announce that their experimentation on mice has been motivated not by a desire to advance human knowledge, but out of sheer distaste for the furry little rodents."

It's a top-notch Onion piece, with gems like: "According to a 500-word statement, scientists hate mice for 'their beady little eyes,' 'their repulsive tails,' and 'the annoying little squeaking sounds they make.'" As Homer would say, "It's funny because it's true"... if by "true" we mean "truly hilarious."