SKITTISH ABOUT IRRADIATED MEAT?

Then try virus-laced luncheon meats instead! This was a tip from the inimitable Joan Zacharias, and as she points out, it's not just that meat producers again want to further contaminate their useless product in order to fight the fecal contamination that is endemic to it, but that again, consumers will have no idea which hot dogs are or are not virus-free, as there will be zero requirement to label them as such.

Actually, Joan didn't mention the fecal contamination, but I had to get that in - it's my specialty around here.