THINK GLOBALLY, EAT QUICKLY

McDonalds Around the World: In the UK the company will start selling sliced apples, grapes, pasta salad and juicy juice - vegan options, gotta love it. But meanwhile in the US the restaurant tries tired gimmicks and meat-formula tinkering, and continues to slide. And in the East, a previous harbinger of bad news for McDonalds, the founder and president of McDonalds Japan resigned in the midst of that ongoing bad scene.

A REGULAR IRREGULAR DIET

Vegetarian diet slashes cholesterol levels blares the Orlando Sentinel, on an experiment where subjects lowered cholesterol by a surprising one-third. "Whether most people would stick with such a diet is another matter," cautions this AP story, "because it involves daily okra, eggplant and Metamucil, among other things." Uh-huh. Well, whatever those "other things" might be, you can count me out of this particular vegetarian diet right here and now, Jack.

Ain't no friggin' way you're gettin' me to eat eggplant every day. And that is a fact.

STOP AND GO

Yet another hole in the theory that we can trust livestock operators with the integrity of our food: The FDA has reiterated a ban on a drug used in cattle that can cause anemia and other blood diseases in humans. Reiterated because they had already phased out the drug in 1996 in regulations that have apparently been ignored by enough farmers to warrent this public airing of dirty laundry. Not all farmers were flouting the law, but "I think it was enough for us to feel that this was not an isolated incident," said the FDA compliance officer. Great, these are the folks making sure we don't wind up with Mad Cow here; wonder what they'll reiterate next?

FORTIFY THIS!

There are a couple good lines in this story on efforts to make soy milk available to public school kids through the National School Lunch Program - like the dairy spokesperson's dismissal of enriched soy milk's equivalent nutrition with the phrase, "You can fortify anything." Uh, yeah. Like, for example, cow's milk? Which is fortified with vitamin A and D? The punch line is that it's only this added vitamin D that may make the difference, ultimately, in the one "health" area milk can claim: Osteoporosis. A recent study as concluded that "Neither milk nor a high-calcium diet appears to reduce risk of hip fractures." Instead, the only positive factor seemed to be adequate intake of - what? Yep, Vitamin D.

QUANTITY vs. QUALITY

The International Herald Tribune notes that "Rich diets, poor health are a global killer." Hmmmm. Yes, but what is it about the West's "rich" diets? A popular scapegoat is portion sizes, which are now larger than ever. But that is a large red herring: Note that in the study mentioned here, while the "best diet" control group watched portion sizes and got nowhere, those on a vegan diet reopened their blocked arteries and lost 22 pounds, without having to watch portion size at all. Gee, maybe it's not how much but what you're eating that's the problem. After all, even stubborn West Virginians were able to succeed on a "lowfat vegetarian diet." If they can do it, why not you?

LET'S SUE!

Animal Aid, a group in Britain, asserts that vegetarian and vegan children are discriminated against by hostile doctors, teachers and relatives. Well, duh. But this is more than a little silly: The Animal Aid spokesperson, Becky Lilly, said "the finding that shocked us most was the amount of pressure coming from close relatives..." Uh, yeah. Does Ms. Lilly have any close relatives??? Predictably, the article relegates the facts of vegetarianism's healthfulness to quotes from Animal Aid, "balancing" them with insights such as: "On medical grounds it can't be very good," from the eminent medical authority Anthony Worrall-Thompson, owner of the Notting Grill, a meat restaurant in West London. He adds that kids need meat for "vitamins they can't get from soya or the fungus that grows on pipes or whatever they eat." Oh-kayyyy.

DOUBLE PLUS GOOD

How many times must it be proven before mainstream reporters stop repeating the canard that "organic food hasn't been shown to be more nutritious"? Well, whatever the number is, subtract one from it, because a University of California researcher has found, again, that organic plant foods were richer in vital antioxidants than non-organic. Maybe people are confused because "organic" meat, eggs and dairy products often aren't organic, thanks to the lying sacks of feces who run these industries and their congressional partners in crime.

800-POUND HUNTERS

Chronic Wasting Disease continues to turn up in deer in new states, the latest being Utah, along with more in New Mexico (which I hadn't mentioned previously). Even as states try to eradicate the deer, hunters are wearying of all the complications and numbers are dwindling - to the point that a Washington Times columnist laments that the future could be bleak for hunters. Gee, let's hope so. At least this dude admits the real reason hunting continues to get preferential treatment from the US government in its various game-commission guises: "In the money department, the hunting community is the 800-pound gorilla in a pen full of squirrel monkeys." Other than the insult to gorillas' intelligence - I don't see them practicing a beer-soaked "sport" that depends on senseless slaughter - that analogy sounds just right.

CHALK UP ONE MORE

A step toward "curing" cancer was made in lab tests on cancer cells, when a substance was found that kills lung cancer cells and prevents healthy lung cells from becoming cancerous. The compound, Deguelin, is found where? In plants, of course.

STANDARD DOUBLE STANDARDS

One of the few amusing things about animal exploitation is people's attempts to maintain the illusory dichotomy of animals whose death is wrong, and those whose death is of no consequence. For instance, some in San Diego are aghast at the method some poultry ranchers are using to kill thousands of chickens: wood-chipping machines. Yeah, that's pretty gruesome - but don't these same people give a damn that male just-hatched chicks are routinely tossed in an electric shredder? What's the diff? Similarly, as more people become aware that zoos are selling "surplus" animals to canned hunts, some say "If we can see animals in zoos one day and they end up as rugs on the floor the next, that's wrong." Yes, it sure is. But is it right if we didn't see the animal in a zoo the day before? Howcum? And why is it OK to skin cows alive as they howl in pain every single day, but doing the same to bunny rabbits is a crime? Oh, is it because the latter was being done in front of children?

HAMBURGER HELL

The McDonalds lawsuit has been refiled, and as predicted here, McDonald's woes continue to mount. This past week its stock price dipped below $13 for the first time in living memory, and analysts are busy expounding on how fast the company is going down the tubes, some sticking to more genteel phrasing such as "Luster dims for the golden arches" and others going straight to terminology like "Hamburger Hell."

MEAT-RICH DIET CAUSES COLON CANCER

In a definitive study of 75,000 women, researchers found a clear correlation between eating a meat-heavy "Western" diet and incidence of colon cancer. And though the headlines add "in Women" to the version above this entry, let's not kid ourselves, says Dr. Dennis J. Ahnen of the University of Colorado: "There is nothing unique about women in this regard — it just happens that there are only women in the cohort studied." Ahnen pointed out that "there is abundant geographic data that countries with a Western diet have higher rates of colorectal cancer while high-fat diets may be associated with higher rates in both men and women." But even as the lead scientist notes that "this information should be followed up by efforts to teach individuals and their physicians about what foods are healthy and high in fiber," and "I often devote a portion of my time with a patient to discuss
the importance of a high fiber diet,that "patients usually are not aware of what foods are actually the best sources of fiber," this article fails utterly to delineate what types of foods are high in fiber vs. low-to-nonexistent in fiber. After all, there's a pretty simple, easy-to-remember dividing line...

All high-fiber foods are plant-based.

All animal-based foods have zero fiber.

See what I mean?

PREGNANT? DON'T EAT TUNA

This is only the latest in a parade of different types of fish that are dangerous to eat because of all the toxins that build up in their fat. But it's noteworthy enough for a separate entry because I know that a lot of pregnant women have leaned on tuna to fulfill their massive protein quotient. Word now is, more than two cans a week and you're endangering your offspring.

MAYO, FRUITS & VEGGIES

The Mayo Clinic surveyed 732 Minnesota residents and determined that only 16% of adults get five servings of fruits or vegetables each day. This is too bad, because not only did recent studies find that "a diet high in fruits, vegetables, legumes and certain oils -- also known as the 'Mediterranean diet'" -- reduces arthritis, and that eating fruit protects against cancer, but also that vegetable fats ward off Alzheimers, while animal fats contribute to the brain-wasting disease. So try to get your five-a-day now, while you can still keep track of 'em.

IS IT SERIOUS YET?

Deaths from food poisoning caused by Salmonella and its feces-in-meat-based brethren kill more people than previously thought, say Danish scientists - possibly twice as many people.

UNNECESSARY EVIL

Of all the desperate displays of mister-macho insecurity in our rich, rich culture, rodeos have got to be the most pathetic. "Look at me... I can beat up a defenseless calf!" So it's not surprising that according to Orange County Weekly, they routinely, illegally use cattle prods to shock (and infuriate) horses, and then lie about it. Ho ho, I have a joy buzzer and the animal doesn't. Rodeo clowns is right.

And in what may seem an unrelated story, "well-known names in San Diego medicine" say UC San Diego's killing of healthy dogs in physiology and pharmacology courses doesn't teach students anything new, and is a "waste of money" at $576 a each dog.

Whatever. The fact is, schools are eliminating lab dog courses, and the more of 'em do it, the more of 'em realize it's just plain damn unethical and stop. "If the great majority of schools can teach these subjects without killing dogs, it cannot be necessary for UCSD to treat dogs this way. Once necessity is removed from a necessary evil, all that remains is the evil. We should dispense with that."

Exactly.

Exactly.

SLEEPING GIANT AWAKES?

Could the complacent media that have for so long rubber-stamped the outlandish claims of the meat and dairy industries finally be rousing themselves from their stupor and looking at these commercial campaigns for what they are? Two of the latest initiatives are getting a less than ringing endorsement. The cattlemen's "Cool 2 Be Real" site, an attempt to stem the tide of vegetarianism among young girls, has been met with snickers and even outright guffaws - for example, this pithy Salon description: "This is an I-got-a-cow-to-sell-ya sales job that insults the intelligence of the average 12-year-old." And the Dairy Council's 3-A-Day program mentioned earlier is being fought hardest not by PETA and PCRM but by the National Cancer Institute, along with the American Cancer Society and the American Heart Association, with even the New York Times asking in its headline, "For Your Health or Their Business?" Well, duh. Kind of a rhetorical question - but at least they're asking.

USDA CONTINUES SEARCH FOR COJONES

Remember that War on E.Coli? Still not won, I guess. Turns out that 60 percent of the largest U.S. meat plants fail to meet federal food safety regulations. And the USDA can't seem to make them clean up their act. Wonder why?

NATURE VS. TORTURE

A handy rationalization meat-eaters fall back on is that farm animals are raised for food, so we shouldn't worry about the ethics of killing & eating them. These two stories show that same ridiculous logic in non-eating industries: Greyhound racing, in which slow dogs are killed by hanging to teach 'em a lesson ("Greyhounds are for racing. What else are you going to do with one?") and cockfighting, which is such a venerable tradition that it's become part of nature itself ("Game cocks are a very unique breed. Over thousands of years, they have been bred to fight. It's their nature.") What's that saying... Nitwits Think Alike?

IN THE NAVY

Australia is leading the charge to include regular vegetarian options in mess hall meals - but I know what you'll say when you look at this: What the hell do you expect of a military branch where the sailors wear silly-lookin' shorts? Really, now.