Friday, September 6


Ding ding ding! The ConAgra story has now reached Epic status. This has the makings of a Hollywood thriller, folks. Get some popcorn.
In addition to its other crimes, it's now indisputable that Conagra brazenly lied about knowing meat was contaminated for two full days before the recall, and letting people continue to buy, consume and get sick from it while they forced the USDA to do additional tests. The "5% argument" put forth by ConAgra is exactly that (and makes for uproarious reading). So how are they getting punished for all this lying and dangerous defrauding of the American public? Glad you asked...

Stricter USDA tests for troubled ConAgra plant, that's how - ooooooh, I bet those profiteers are quakin in their boots now! Do you think they'll be able to avoid constantly skinning animals alive while the inspectors are in the building? Oh, that's right, those folks'll only be at the back of the building - you know, where the product is excreted - to check how much excretion there is on the stuff headed to your grocer's freezer.

And in other ConAgra news, the company is selling off its meatpacking division, in a "deal that was supposed to be completed in August, but was delayed when ConAgra Beef had nearly 19 million pounds of ground beef recalled because of E. coli contamination." Huh. And was this deal inked before or after feces-poisoned beef was found that caused that PR fiasco - you know, back in February?

UPDATE (9/7): Ask and ye shall find out: "Hicks, Muse and Booth Creek agreed in May to buy 54 percent of ConAgra Beef Cos. and Swift & Co., its pork-processing operation." May, huh? Do tell. Maybe that's why a ConAgra spokesman "would not say why Hicks, Muse delayed the purchase" again a day after the AP story above appeared. Hey, maybe they are quakin in their boots after all.

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